once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
pray to the hookup gods
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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