She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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