you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
