Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
