she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
