A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Less talking, more tequila
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
