There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
