mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
