I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
