I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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