I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
