can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't turn off my feet"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
