Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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