The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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