This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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