so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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