just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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