i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
