I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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