TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
