Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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