so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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