She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
