You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize