I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Duck Duck Cougar?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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