i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
