We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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