the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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