Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
