My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
