Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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