I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just blew my weed a kiss
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
