Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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