Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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