it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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