it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
4 words: hood of his car
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't deserve a penis
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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