I think my fart just growled at me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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