They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
