o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
