My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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