11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
