i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
