it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
