she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
