areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
