dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
