Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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