He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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