I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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