I could have mohawked her pubes.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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