Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
