i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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