i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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