apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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