She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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