In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think a kid would responsible me up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
