Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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