On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
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He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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